I have decided the amount of work I have before me is totally untenable (I’m using that word wrong, but screw it, this is my party). Too much to do. I’m amazed at how broke I am considering how many side- projects I have. Or rather I would be amazed if it weren’t for the fact that none of those side-projects pay. They are investments in my future. And yet still I have a hard time focussing. I think it’s because I’ve felt very unsatisfied for months now. Take that as you will.
It’s natural. I don’t have a whole lot going for me. And it feels like I have no audience anymore. All the pent up thoughts and anxieties have nowhere to flow. Though to be honest, it isn’t just the lack of readers. It’s just that creativity feels so unbearably exhausting of late. With so much typing and thinking on a weekly basis– how can I even assemble a coherent sentence to express how I feel? More importantly, how can I do it without whining?
Needs to be done though.
And I haven’t used this site as much as I should. Rebelcomix is my baby. But I bought this space for a reason. Might as well use it. So maybe sometimes I can blog here.
So what’s been on my mind lately?
Work gets ever more frustrating. It isn’t a bad job, but– it feels like a never-ending reminder that I am not doing what I should be doing. And I’m not trying to get poetic on you. Believe me, you won’t find anyone on the planet better able to argue that most people’s concept of ‘destiny’ is an excuse to be irresponsible. But every undistracted moment I’m there, my subconscious is screaming. ”Is this it???” And I have to remind myself that the country is on the cusp of change. I’m lucky to have a job.
My baby brother turns 25 in two weeks. By all rights that means I shouldn’t be calling him “baby” anything. But I reserve the older brother privileges to harass younger siblings when at all possible. I keep wondering what I should get him. Bare in mind, I’m broke.
And speaking of family- my brother, mother and baby cousin (who is still 16 and thus perfectly suitable for “baby” status) ran into a certain former roommate of mine. Mom seemed hesitant to talk about it. Said she felt bad for being nice to him, like it was betrayal. Aside from the fact that betrayal is a bit melo-dramatic– what exactly was she supposed to do? The GNO is a small town. People are going to run into the guy. I don’t expect people to break out into a West Side Story re-enactment (but if they so choose, please film it for me). For one thing, it’s not really their battle to fight. In truth, it’s hardly my battle either. It was nearly a year ago. Life moves on. Do I have reason to hate him? Hell yeah. But it does me no good to dwell on it. This is my story. It has always been my story. He’s not in it anymore.
I’m trying to get into a reading groove again. There’s a list of books I want to read. Most of it is politics; some are computer instruction manuals so I can better educate myself in my chosen field. Among them: The 5000 Year Leap, Superfreakonomics, the Federalist Papers and The Audacity of Hope (yes, the Barack Obama self-written book) to start. After visiting the two main libraries in the city, I’ve come up empty. It’s almost appalling as to the state of our public library system. To be fair though, I’m not sure if its because of the lack of funds (libraries, as I recall, rely on various means of revenue including donations) or if the people in this city just don’t care enough to have a fully functioning library. I’ve only been to one other library out of state. It was very nice. Anyway, it seems as if I may have to purchase at least some of the books I want to read. Fine in most circumstances, but lack of funds has inhibited this of late. In any case, today I did get to read a few chapters from my childhood crush Karen Duffy’s autobiography. Good stuff.
I keep reading about the Family Guy/ Sarah Palin controversy.(if you don’t know what I’m talking about, click here) I really don’t see it as much of a controversy though. Seth MacFarlane is an unfunny dickface who thought it would be funny to pick a fight. No matter what excuses anyone gives you, the joke wasn’t satire. In truth, it wasn’t technically a joke. The punchline is entirely referential. Literally the punchline equates to “We’re pointing out that Sarah Palin has a baby with DOWN Syndrome because the show’s creator thinks that’s funny.” Hysterical. Except it isn’t a joke, it’s a reference whose entire premise is based on a disapproval of Sarah Palin. Let me give you an example.
Knock knock
who’s there?
James Earl Rey
James Ear…
BAM!
That was a referential Martin Luther King joke. If you didn’t get it, don’t bother asking. It wasn’t funny. That said, I can go to any white supremicist meeting in the US and tell that joke and people will crap themselves laughing. Because when you’re that biased, all someone has to do is make a reference to something you hate, and they get instant cred. The difference between the above joke and the Palin one, is that it doesn’t just point out Sarah. It points out her kid. Much like the Letterman joke last year, it takes an unnecessary pot shot at someone’s kid for a cheap laugh. I don’t really care what people think of Sarah Palin. But whether your name is Palin, Obama or even MacFarlane, no one should have the right to cut down your kid and get away with it. That’s bullshit. For the record, I am a huge fan of Sarah Palin and I’ve said for years now Family Guy is one of the least funny shows on television. Oh, and Patrick Warburton is and always has been AWESOME!
Alright. That’s my soap box.
Anything else?
Oh yeah.
You can make these at the website. I did this one myself.
